The Obstacle is the Gift: Why letting go creates the life you want

We live in a culture obsessed with manifesting, pushing, and forcing outcomes. And yes—there’s value in knowing your target and shooting your arrow- my Sagittarius rising understands that well. But when we become fixated on the outcome, we miss the gifts in the journey. We even set ourselves up for disappointment.

Aligned manifestation happens when we know what we want, create the subconscious capacity to receive what we want, embody our worthiness, and then release control. 

And then it grows beyond manifestation into a strategy that's even more powerful: Allowing and receiving.

How do we embrace this strategy? Through detaching from outcomes.

Detachment is what allows us to move through life grounded, open-hearted, and receptive. This means being open to receiving it all- the magic, the mundane, and the bumps. As a client reminded me yesterday: the obstacle is the journey. I’d take it further—the obstacle is the gift.

When I met my partner Karl three years ago, I was actively manifesting a conscious partnership. I had written lists, intentions, qualities, and even the things I dreamed my partner would say to me. When we met, the connection was instant, and much of what I wrote about came true. But did our relationship unfold without trials? Of course not. Real life brought challenges. And every obstacle grew us—individually and together. We became more honest, more embodied, more ourselves. What we have now is far greater than I imagined, and it came from surrendering to the process, not controlling it.

The same was true when I tried to find a new home in 2024. I applied for place after place and kept getting rejected. I finally gave up. Months later, when my landlord gave me notice, I started again and found what I thought was the perfect home—only to be turned down. I felt crushed and confused. But I kept trusting the process because I had no other choice. And then, out of nowhere, friends told me their apartment was opening up. It was smaller than I'd envisioned, but in my dream location. I took the risk, trusted the pull, and now I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Letting go of expectations made room for what was actually meant for me.

Without challenge, we’d never grow beyond our patterns or limiting beliefs.

Now, when things don’t work out as I'd imagined, I see it as a gift. It’s life redirecting me towards something better. Something surprising.

It’s so refreshing to live life this way.

Surrender isn’t easy, though. It requires deep trust—first in yourself, knowing you can navigate anything, and then in the greater order of life.

It requires nervous system regulation, deconditioning, and a willingness to let go.

As you reflect on this past year, I invite you to notice not just the wins but also the moments that felt like failures or messes. What obstacles ended up serving you? Which

experiences shaped you? Can you celebrate your courage—and forgive the places where you’ve judged yourself?

When life trips me up and I start to judge myself, I remember this:

Life is an experiment and everyday I get to be in it- trying things out and observing the results. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, and often it turns into something amazing and wonderful. It's a mindfulness practice that, with time, cultivates the ability to detach and let go. And that's where the magic happens.