Boundaries: Invitations for aligned connections

Learning how to have healthy boundaries has been a lifelong journey for me. I grew up in an environment where boundaries were never named, modeled, or honored. I learned early on to stay quiet, suppress my needs, and prioritize everyone else’s emotional comfort above my own. For much of my life, I felt confused—unsure why I felt awkward, overwhelmed, or uncomfortable in relationships that others clearly recognized as unhealthy, but that felt “normal” to me.

When I did try to speak up, even as an adult, I was often met with resistance or shame. It wasn’t until I began healing past trauma and relational wounding that I started to understand why boundaries felt so difficult—and why it seemed like so many people in my life struggled to respect them.

Everything shifted when Human Design entered my life over seven years ago. Learning that I am a Projector with a very open design was the first time I truly felt seen. Suddenly, my sensitivity made sense. There was nothing wrong with me, which I often wondered—I was energetically porous, deeply empathic, and never meant to relate to others the way I had been taught. Understanding my design gave me a language for my experience and a pathway out of harmful patterns of self-abandonment.

From there, I began a journey of deep healing and self-actualization. Today, my relationship with boundaries feels embodied, peaceful, and clear. Creating healthy boundaries is no longer something I force or defend; it’s something my energy naturally communicates. While challenges still arise—and uncomfortable conversations still happen—they no longer carry the confusion, stress, or self-doubt they once did. Supporting my clients in cultivating this same grounded, self-trusting relationship with boundaries is one of my greatest joys, because I see how profoundly liberating it is. Boundaries free us to live authentically, embody our fullness, and form relationships that are truly nourishing.

Many of us were taught to think of boundaries as barriers, but they are not walls. Boundaries are invitations for aligned connection—and one of the clearest expressions of self-respect.

In practice, however, living this truth is rarely simple. In relationships, choosing integrity over obligation, familiarity, or emotional over-functioning is not always socially rewarded. While there is widespread encouragement to “protect your peace” and “honor your boundaries,” the lived experience of doing so can be complex, uncomfortable, and deeply confronting.

Boundaries can make others uncomfortable. They can be taken personally. And when that happens, the person holding them is often misunderstood—labeled as difficult, withdrawn, selfish, wounded, or uninterested in connection. Over time, this kind of feedback can lead to self-doubt, isolation, and a quiet questioning of one’s own values, especially when it comes from long-standing or formative relationships.

Many of these dynamics are rooted in unspoken codependency. When a relationship has relied on over-giving, emotional bridging, or self-abandonment to function, the introduction of boundaries can feel destabilizing. There is often an unexamined expectation that one person will continue carrying the emotional labor required to keep the relationship intact. And when that labor stops, the relationship may begin to unravel.

This does not mean the boundary was wrong. And it does not mean a relationship must require self-betrayal in order to survive.

Healthy boundaries reveal what is sustainable and what is not. They clarify where responsibility truly lies. And while it can be painful to release relationships that no longer align, boundaries are not acts of rejection—they are acts of honesty. There are relationships that can meet truth with respect, and there are others that cannot continue without the erasure of one person’s needs.

Discernment is not a lack of care; it is a commitment to integrity. Boundaries do not diminish connection—they refine it.

We are currently in Aquarius season, which adds another layer of meaning to this conversation. Aquarius reminds us that authentic community is built on clarity, autonomy, and conscious choice—not on self-erasure. It teaches us that belonging does not require over-functioning, and that connection does not need to come at the cost of our nervous system or sense of self.

This is where Human Design offers a powerful and compassionate lens. Each person’s design carries a unique energetic blueprint for how connection is meant to work—how much to give, when to engage, where rest is essential, and how boundaries naturally function when we are living in alignment. Many struggles with boundaries are not personal failures; they are signs of trying to live and relate in ways that were never energetically sustainable to begin with.

This is why I am so excited to teach my upcoming class called Inviting Alignment: Creating Embodied Boundaries through Human Design. This offering is centered on boundaries as invitations—shifting the way we relate to boundaries from something we defend or explain into something we embody. Together, we’ll explore how your unique design is meant to engage with others, how to recognize when you’re overextending or self-abandoning, and how to live in a way that allows boundaries to arise naturally, without force or fear.

When you embody your design, boundaries become less about saying “no” and more about living in alignment. The result is a healthier, easier, and more sustainable relationship with yourself and with others—one that supports authentic connection, self-trust, and relationships that truly honor who you are.

You’ll find the full details for my upcoming class—dates, structure, and registration—below. This is an invitation to learn how boundaries can feel natural, embodied, and deeply aligned with your design.