The Discomfort of Authenticity: What it really takes to live in alignment, and why it's worth it

I’d love to offer a different kind of invitation this year. Instead of focusing on resolutions or trying to be “better” than you were last year, what if you asked a simpler, deeper question: How can I be more myself in 2026?

To be more yourself—to live authentically—is to live in alignment with your values, needs, feelings, and inner truth, rather than shaping yourself around expectations, conditioning, or the need for approval. It’s about really showing up for yourself, as yourself.

But being authentic is uncomfortable—especially if you were raised to people-please, put others’ needs before your own, or rely on external approval to feel okay or worthy. If that’s been your wiring, operating authentically doesn’t feel liberating at first. It can feel destabilizing.

For most of us, the path to authenticity requires deconditioning. And deconditioning is no small thing. It means learning boundaries. Letting go of people, roles, attachments, and patterns that once felt safe but no longer serve you. It often requires renegotiating relationships and partnerships—and sometimes that means the end of a relationship or career path that once provided a sense of stability and grounding.

Deconditioning asks you to put your own needs first, which can feel selfish in the beginning. Fear of judgment shows up—along with self-judgment. I’ve judged myself for wanting change, for choosing what felt right in my heart even when it didn’t align with social expectations. Maybe you have judged yourself, too.

It also means releasing and healing unhealthy thought patterns that feel familiar, because the subconscious equates familiarity with safety—even when it’s not healthy.

And then there’s the part that might be hardest of all: radical honesty with yourself. Authenticity asks you to face your pain, your patterns, your “stuff.” We all carry pain—our own, and often the pain of our lineage. It may not always be consciously felt, but it still operates in the background, shaping how we live. Eventually—if you’re willing—you gain awareness of that pain and reach a point where operating from conditioning and wounding is no longer possible. Something has to change, and this is when authenticity stops being a choice. It becomes the only way forward.

Along the way, allies matter. Some relationships fall away because they can’t meet the version of you that’s emerging. Others, when rebuilt slowly and with healthy boundaries, can be deeply healing and validating. These connections remind us that being ourselves doesn’t always lead to abandonment—and that being authentic can actually create more love, abundance, and fulfillment.

The return on authenticity is incredible, and the rewards are immense. But the process can be deeply uncomfortable at times—and I don’t think it’s meant to be otherwise. If you’re feeling unsettled as you set boundaries, release old patterns, or do relationships differently, you’re not alone. This discomfort is part of the growth. It’s proof that you’re doing something differently than you did before. Change is hard—but nothing changes if nothing changes, right?

On the other side of that discomfort is something real and grounded: an unwavering sense of self, truth, and self-worth that you’ve courageously created—not something inherited through conditioning or expectation. You’re steadier, clearer, and far more anchored in who you truly are. You walk a path you’ve carved out for yourself—authentic to your heart, your soul, your mission.

As you read this, I wonder: What could you do today to take a step toward deeper authenticity? What would feel empowering, creative, liberating, or bold? Notice what comes to you first, and then make it your job to follow through. Your future self will thank you.